"Why Would Anyone Want YOU?"

So, I had a deep and riveting conversation with a very close friend of mine and that very question came out of his mouth. I had to pause and think about it. I really didn't know. I am so many things that people should find unattractive, yet and still I get women and, surprisingly, men whenever I want. If I want to be lonely, I choose to do so. But if I don't want to be, I can get into a relationship quite easily.

I'm silly, and crack jokes often. I like laughing. I'm very forward now. I have no problem walking up to someone and hitting on them, buying them a drink, or flirting them up a bit. I tell people when I find them attractive. And, even though it has gotten me into so much trouble, I'm honest about my feelings and don't hesitate to tell someone when I like them. I don't mind doing the chasing, and women tend to like me more because of that. They don't mind my constant physical attention, either. But that's something different.

I just like to have fun and whatever or whoever helps me in accomplishing that, well, I surround myself with them/it. And then I go at 150 miles per hour towards fun and hope that at some point I collide with happiness. But I sadly got to the point where women were disposable. I could have as many as I wanted, as often as I wanted, whenever I wanted. And that's when I had to take a step back and rethink things.

But, my friend is right. Why would anyone want me? I'm a huge bitch and tend to put myself first when it comes to relationships. Most of the time, the sex is more important to me than the actual bond of me and the other person involved. Why would that seem remotely attractive?

But I try to stay positive, I guess that's appealing. Even through everything that happened I tried to keep a fairly positive outlook. I made some bad decisions and I understand that. I learned from them, what can I say?

But that's not the point, the point is I have no idea why people like me. Or fall for me for that matter. I'm not that great. But maybe that's why people like me. I understand that I'm not perfect, or anyone else for that matter, and I'm ok with that.

It's a mystery~